Turning Potential Into Gold

Why don't I do what I set out to do?

After countless failed attempts at improving my life, I think I've finally found a way to turn some of that lost potential into gold. I'm confident enough in the idea that I'm going to spend the next few months putting it to the test, publicly.

Lost potential

I've been glued to my devices for longer than I can remember. Seriously, I've spent so much of the last 10 years either on my phone or computer that it sometimes feels like I barely lived. I've said no to social gatherings. I've failed to keep up with friends to the point where I basically have no social life left.

I've tried self-help

I've done coaching. I've read books. I've done a "dopamine detox" and a "digital minimalism month". I even bought a flip phone to replace my smartphone and used all kinds of software blockers to lock myself out of websites.

But... it always comes down to the same

My habits creep back in, and before I know it, I'm back doing the things I don't want to do. The frustrating part is that some of these attempts actually worked, sometimes for weeks or even months. But eventually I'd give myself access again. One YouTube video turns into an evening of YouTube, and slowly I end up right back where I started. So I try again. A new blocker, a new routine, a new strategy. And eventually, the same thing happens.

Maybe I've been solving the wrong problem

Every time I've tried to change, I've focused on the things I want to stop doing. Stop watching YouTube. Stop wasting time. Stop scrolling. Stop staying inside. But I've spent much less time thinking about what I actually want to do instead.

Running experiments

Instead of trying to make permanent changes, I'm going to treat them as experiments. I'll give myself a 3 month window to explore different hypotheses I have about myself and the way I live, and see what results they actually yield.

But these experiments aren't just about getting rid of bad habits. I want to use them to figure out what I actually want from life. What makes me feel confident? What makes a day feel worth living? What do I believe? What kinds of people, hobbies and experiences do I want in my life?

Curiosity instead of discipline

This changes the goal from trying to have enough discipline to permanently change myself, to simply being curious. I'm not saying, "I'm never watching YouTube again." I'm saying, "What happens if I don't watch YouTube for 30 days?" If it improves my life, I've learned something. If it doesn't, I've learned something too.